DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently declared myself and started dating again. For most of my son’s life, I was a single mother. He’s a college student now, so I thought it was time.
I used a reputable dating app. I’ve already met two interesting guys, but it didn’t turn out very well.
Anyway, the guy acted like he was in love with me almost instantly. Courting me, winning and having dinner, being the perfect gentleman – all I appreciate – and then crickets. Everything seems to be going too fast.
I don’t know how to go out anymore. It’s been so long. Still, I don’t want to give up.
What else do I need to do to be ready to expose myself, but also to protect myself?
DEAR DATING AGAIN: Slow down. Chances are you should follow the advice you gave your son about getting involved in a relationship yourself.
Take the time to get to know who you are dating. Even if the person is completely in love with you, take it easy. Tell him clearly what you want and find out what he wants. Be specific.
Sometimes people just want to have some fun. In other cases, the desire may be for a long-term relationship. Decide what you want and put it on the table from the beginning.
Do not lower the guard completely at the beginning. Give him time. Your match must earn your trust. It’s great for him to excite him, but if you’re looking for a long game, stay calm and pay attention. Just don’t give up.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a work holiday because of a new job. One of the connecting exercises was hiking.
I am very obese and inactive. I don’t walk, I don’t run or anything, but I got into it and committed to staying fit.
I walk a little every day since we got home. Everything was going well, but then one day I woke up and felt like shit. My legs hurt so much. My energy is gone.
I’m worried and angry. I thought this was going to be my time to turn my life around, but now I’m stuck in bed and in pain.
Is it too late for me? I feel like I’m betraying myself and my colleagues. Everyone was cheering for me.
Two steps back
DEAR TWO STEPS BACK: Make an appointment with your internist. It’s time to do a complete physical examination with a leg examination to make sure your body is stable. This could be as simple as the fact that you have been using muscles that have been ignored for years, and they react as they “wake up”. It may be that the medical challenge is self-evident.
Find out what is going on in your body with the help of a doctor. Then talk about a healthy fitness routine that you can incorporate into your life right away and that will help you achieve your fitness goal. Consider this a minor delay. You have started your journey to a healthier body. You can do it.
Harriette Cole is a stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative that helps people access and activate their dreams. Questions can be sent to [email protected] or c / o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.