Americans should attend 2.5 million weddings in 2022, the most since 1984. Wedding report. Which means that invitees across the nation are now googling all the little rules and protocols that weddings entail.
While some dress codes may remain a mystery – and before you get excited, no, no one Grow has talked to even knows what “cowboy casual cocktail” means – there’s one area where it’s important to make things right: giving gifts.
Ignoring proper etiquette in this area can get you in trouble in many ways, says Thomas Farley, an etiquette expert and author of the NBC Today column.A meal with Mr. Manners. “
You miss the goal with the gift and you risk a rift between you and the happy couple. But during the hot wedding season, you also have a chance of getting financially hurt, he says. “I shouldn’t be late with paying by credit card because I’m going to eight weddings this summer.”
Read on for the rules of giving wedding gifts that ensure you are kind to your wallet as well as to friends who are getting married.
Do I really have to cover the cost of my plate?
The idea that the value of your gift should cover the price of your plate is a myth, says Farley. A more lavish wedding, in other words, would mean you have to give a nicer, more expensive gift.
Instead, you should ask yourself two questions when deciding how much to spend on a gift. The first: “How close am I to a couple?” says Farley. “Is this a borderline business acquaintance and I can’t even believe I was invited? Or is this my godson?”
Second: What can I afford? Being a guest at a wedding should not be a burden on your budget. “Give what you can, what your heart tells you and what you can afford,” says Farley.
How late can I send a gift?
There is an idea that you have up to a year after the couple gets married to send their gift. “It is an urban myth, ”says Farley.“ You don’t have a year to give away. What, are you waiting to see if the marriage will last a year? “
Farley says you should give your gift on time, but notes that doesn’t mean you should show up to the reception with a wrapped box – one that some unfortunate member of the wedding party will probably have to catch. Instead, send your gift to the couple’s address in advance or, if you are superstitious about such things, no later than one month after the ceremony.
Should I buy something off the register?
In short, yes. And the sooner the better. “If a couple is registered, sign that register as soon as you decide to go,” Farley says. “The longer you wait, the more likely you are to get stuck with any of the things over your budget or you have to buy laundry towels and pillowcases to try to increase the price to $ 100. “
Farley prefers to give a gift to a registered couple than to hand over cash or a check. “Every time they make espresso with the machine you gave them, they will think of you,” he says. “They will not remember the check you gave them on the 25thth anniversary. “
Is it okay to give cash?
If you can’t find anything in the registry then fits your budget, it’s okay to give a cash gift, but Farley suggests writing a check instead of putting bills in an envelope. “You can write a checkout and put it on a card that includes a thoughtful, honest note,” he says. “It’ll be more honest than if it looks like you put all the cash in your wallet.”
The couple can also list contributions to their honeymoon as a gift in their registry, which is a perfectly good way to celebrate pigeons, Farley says. But whatever you do, don’t stray from the money scenario.
“I’d always agree to something the couple was looking for, not‘ spoiling ’,” Farley says. “You might think they’d really want a subscription to Cheese Club of the Month, but getting them something they didn’t ask for is really cheeky.”
Do I have to give a gift if I don’t attend?
As a general rule, yes. Even if you do not attend the event because it is outside your budget. “If someone is close to you, provided you have the funds, you should send something. At the very least, send a greeting card with a really nice message,” says Farley.
And if you’ve been invited to a few weddings this summer, sending gifts instead of spending money on travel, accommodation and a hat and bolo tie (that sounds like a cowboy cocktail casually, doesn’t it?) Will probably mean you’ll come forward, Farley notes.
“If you have the means to send a gift and a greeting card, especially for someone close to you, that’s a really nice solution,” he says. “If I skip a few weddings, I’d rather send five nice gifts than make the effort and spend the next five years in debt. Plus, if you look at the summer of 2023, there will be a lot of weddings then too.”
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