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NeighborsJodi Gordon has revealed her experiences with depression and alcohol addiction.
The star, who played Elly Conway between 2016 and 2020 and also starred At home and away as Martha Mackenzie, spoke about her recent 30-day stay at a rehabilitation facility in an interview with Stellar Magazinesharing that she was in a “really dark place”.
“At the beginning of those 30 days, there was no smile,” she said.
“Finding yourself in a place where you have more people making the decision for you that you have to be admitted to rehab is not where you laugh.”
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She continued: “I learned so much through connecting, but also through the tools you gain, how to start dealing with that pain, that trauma, how to break it, coping mechanisms. And how, when you come out of that rehabilitation facility, yes start implementing those tools into your life and restructure and build a bigger, better life. “
Revealing how things looked before rehab, Gordon said alcohol was her “poison”.
“I’ve been chasing the illusion that I can drink like a normal person for too long,” she said. “It was very bad while I was working Neighbors… In my industry, I think the look is pretty much followed. I tried to present something further [what] I could pretend to be in control, trying to do my best, but I was just sinking.
“I think I’ve gotten to the point where depression has really started to sink. I’ve entered a place of really negative thoughts within myself.”
She added: “I’ve been in this really dark place of depression over the years. But the place I was in before I went to rehab was a really dark place.
“It’s a place I’ve been so far down this well – as I call it – that it’s really hard to think, hear, see any form of light or be able to connect with anyone, let alone reach out or talk to anyone.
“I let someone help me make that choice and I was reluctant to apply, but within a few days I knew I was exactly where I belonged.”
Asked how she was currently feeling, Gordon said it was as if she had “given a second chance at life both inside and out in terms of a new path, a new chapter”.
“I know it’s a cliché,” she added, “but when you dive deep into the dark problems you have, when you can get to the other end of it, I think there’s freedom and liberation in that. I feel like other chances are on the table.”
If you have been affected by the issues raised in this story, organizations that can offer support include Samaritans at 116 123 (www.samaritans.org) or Mind on 0300 123 3393www.mind.org.uk). Readers in the United States are encouraged to visit mentalhealth.gov.
Alcohol Change UK offers information, advice and support with its drinking questions and the problems that alcohol can sometimes cause. For more information visit Alcohol Change UK’s Web page. Drinkline also offers free, confidential advice to anyone concerned about their own or someone else’s drink on 0300 123 1110 (weekdays 9-20h, weekends 11-16h).
Readers can also turn Drinkaware.
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